Developing trust with another person who understands, sees, and accepts you as you are is valuable. It helps you to be yourself - to discover what that really means - to feel good about yourself, and to go more deeply into your own process.

A therapeutic relationship can also help you to become more aware of what feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and expectations you bring into relationships because at times you'll bring them into the therapy relationship. Therapy can be an opportunity to sort through that and to discover new ways of being in relationships.

It's also important to focus on issues that are bothering you. I am practical, intuitive, and usually know pretty quickly what may be going on for you.

I'll ask you about the history of the problem and how it effects you. I will want to understand how the problem developed and how it's maintained. I will ask how you feel, what your thoughts are, and what beliefs you hold. I'll ask you lots of questions to help you sort through the roots of your problems, and to discover ways to overcome them.

I'll let you know what I hear going on. I will give you suggestions either for how we can approach your problems together, or for ways you can deal with them yourself. I'll tell you if I think that you are following any patterns and suggest ways to interrupt those patterns. You won't be alone in the work that we do together - I will be an active participant in your therapy.

There may be times when what you need most is an empathic witness to your pain or process -- a strong ally to help you go through what you need to. Having a supportive ally can be particularly important if you are grieving or dealing with trauma.

Being aware of how you process your experiences--what you feel, think, and believe--is also helpful.This awareness can help you to understand yourself and your relationships better.